Ann Bradstreet

ann bradstreet once said:

"among all of my experiences of God's gracious dealings with me I have constantly found this; that He hath never suffered me long to sit loose from him, but by some affliction or another hath made me look home, and search for what was amiss."

what a wise woman.

go for it

today i heard a quote. on tv amazingly. an actress said:
'whatever it is that makes your pulse race...go for it.'
it was one of those quotes that just feels right to your intuition.

lately i've been doing a lot of thinking. about what is really important, and what i need to be going after and doing to be the kind of person i want to be.

then i heard this quote and thought what makes my pulse race?

amazingly they coincide.

feeling the spirit and building my testimony make my pulse race. and they are things i want to feel more. so i will go for it.

doing well in a class or on a test makes my pulse race. and thats something i want to do more. so i will go for it.

being independent. making decisions for myself and caring about myself make my pulse race. so i'm going for it.

making friends and meeting new people makes me pulse race. go for it.

being around my family and having fun with them makes my pulse race. going for it.

loving those around me. going for it.

stolen

The Clouds Move Slowly

You close your eyes when you cry. That's ok. Just don't keep them closed too long. Things have become beautiful since you last looked. There's nothing more to cry about.

i stole this from the blog I Wrote This For You. isn't it beautiful?

S*N*O*W

today was the first real snow. what makes a snow a real snow is that it sticks, snows for more than an hour, and is all around pretty.

when i woke up today and looked out the front room window of my apartment i started bouncing up and down on the couch like a three year old. -I LOVE THE SNOW. there is nothing in this world that compares to the beauty of the snow.- luckily for me both my room mates love the snow too, so they didn't find my bouncing to be too terribly weird.

I love the white sparkly effect of the snow. EVERYTHING looks prettier in the snow. even people. actually especially people. it just looks sooo pretty! thats why they call it a winter wonderland. snow leaves you in wonder. you never hear anyone call summer a wonderland. (you can tell which i like better.)

the downside of snow? driving in it. it's absolutely terrifying. and in utah it is so hard to decide if you should drive now or wait a while. because often if you wait a couple minutes it will start to melt. oh utah. you are bipolar when it comes to weather. but this snow, i will keep.

Boy

I miss my brother. i called him boy. he called me sister girl.

i went to one of his best friends homecomings today and i just wish it would have been his.

no one can describe my brother. you just have to meet him cause he is just ian. he is extremely blunt and straight forward but in a way that endears you. i miss him telling me exactly what he thinks of this world. he never tried to put himself in someone elses shoes, so his views were always very skewed, but i loved them. he always told me very bluntly if i was wearing too much make up or didn't look like i cared about myself. i actually miss that. i love his honesty. and oh the tact he lacks. i love it.

i hated him when we were little. he loves bugging. and he takes things too far a lot of the time. but its just how he is. you get used to it. then you learn to do it back. haha. my mom always said that i got away with saying things to ian that no one else could get away with.

ian loves learning something new and then sharing it with you. he loves to teach in a way that makes you think and sometimes makes you feel stupid haha. he doesn't have much patience until he tries to teach you something. he takes the time to make sure you get it. but he can be a pretty harsh teacher sometimes.

i remember once he was teaching me to drive stick. he was driving us home after i had finally started to get it in one of the many church parking lots in pleasant grove. we stopped on a huge hill and he said ok drive us home. anyone that drives stick knows hills are VERY hard. especially when you are learning. now the problem was i REALLY had to pee. he very matter of factly told me that if i wanted to use the bathroom i was going to have to get up that hill some how.
i drive up hills perfectly.

ian never sways from a belief. he is out serving a mission in brazil right now and i know he is doing amazing. he's been out for a year and i miss him like crazy. i can't wait till he gets back.

oh the plants

the joy of working in an herbarium full of smelly plants is, on occasion i come across words that make me giggle to myself. of course everyone else that works in the herbarium actually likes plants and they know why the heck the plants have the name they do. but i don't. so i giggle about the names such as:

Wawawaiensis or almost as good, Happolopapis.

i have really seen these names. this is the part of working at the herbarium i like. the part where i see wierd words then i go get the plants and realize they are actually sage brush. why can't they just call them sage brush? but you know whatevs.

just try to pronounce this please

wa-wa-wa-IENSIS! or hap-polo-pap-IS!

yup

sometimes i fall asleep on a couch in the memorial room in the wilk.


sometimes after i fall asleep i have really weird dreams about my mom and micah coming in and not being quiet when it is a quiet room and then anndee, devon, eli, and devon's little brother. that he doesn't have. and five month old eli keeps running away from his mom and i have to carry devon's brother. who is older than me. then i can't get a plane for those dang jonas brothers because i can't punch out the people shaped tickets quiet right and finally i end up stranded with the jonas brothers in the jungle. the jungle that has conveyer belts going every where. those jonas brothers are more annoying than you'd think. they didn't want to signal down a plane. they just wanted to learn how to live with the monkeys in peace. (micah i really hope you read this.) p.s. this is the condensed version of my crazy dream.


sometimes i wake up in the memorial room after having a crazy dream and my whole sleeve is wet.


sometimes i wonder how many people stare at the sleeping, drooling people in the memorial room.

mmmmhmm. i love sunday.

i've decided that sundays are just the best day ever. it feels like every really perfect day is a sunday.
first you've got the weather. like this sunday the weather is the very best fall weather i could ask for.
but mostly just this sunday has been really nice.

i woke up....late....which is nice. i like sleeping in on occasion. (my mother is laughing right now and saying 'on occasion?!' love you mom.) anyway....then i went and met my mom and micah at the hospital to visit my dad.
it was great to see him. he looks really good and seems to be doing a lot better. we had a really nice conversation about the pictures on the walls of the hospital (all of which were no where close to his pictures. he is the most amazing, artistic photograher i've ever seen) and doing 'laps' around the nurses station and over to the vending machines.
i love my daddy. he is so smart and so creative and definitely my hero.

so that was the start to my day. after we were done visiting my mom, micah, and i went back to my house in pg. i love it here. (i'm here right now) i love when micah hasn't seen me in a while cause he won't leave me a lone when i come to visit :) i love that little boy. who i guess isn't so little seeing that he is taller and weighs more than me. but i still love him.

we ate a late lunch over at the howards. i love dena howards food. she cooks like she is from the south. everything has so much flavor and butter. i love it. the howards are the greatest people. they will literally give you the shirt off their back if they think you need it. or even want it. that whole family is so giving.

i went on a scooter ride with trent after lunch. i've only ever driven a scooter once in my life so it was interesting at first. i killed it a few times. how you kill an automatic i don't know. but i did it. haha. it was nice to get out into my neighborhood again. feels like i haven't seen any of it for a very long time.

i ran today. first part of my new resolution to run every day. haha anyone that knows me won't believe i'm going to do it. but i will show you all. and i will out run you all too.

i'm trying to be better about exercising and eating right. i've decided its time i said goodbye to my truest friend. diet coke. (mom i'm serious.) so goodbye diet coke. maybe if i get a migrane i'll turn to you once more, but for now farewell. someone else will have to drink you. try my mom. she would. :)

i just love my family. my little brother is so amazing. sometimes i wish i was as nice and open as he is. he has soooo many friends, and good grades, and he rocks at football. i hope he keeps it up. cause he is awesome and i love him. he is my poopsie after all :)

OH BOY! my laundry is done! i love folding warm yummy smelling laundry! yay! folding time here i come.

Andrew Harvey

He was a brilliant man.
The quote I live by came from this man's mouth. It is:
"The greatest courage is to be happy".
Some times it takes so much to let yourself be happy.
Courage.

No one is happy unless they are completely themselves. To be yourself in this world full of fragmented people takes complete courage.
It always makes me think of my mom. She is a beautiful, courageous lady. She has never been anything but completely herself. What a hero. What an example of truth she is. No one could ever consider her a hypocrite. The one person that lives what she preaches and does what she says is my Mother. If only she knew what she has done for me. You have an idea now mom? I love you lady.

That was my serious thought for this day.

on a lighter note.....
i love my room mates. Everyone says that, but who means it? me. that is who. (p.s. mom this is all in lower case because i like it, not cause i didn't get my learnin done when i was wee.)


Anyway.....
i love a room mate that will sneak up on me while i'm at my computer, yell, pounce on me, and say, 'TICKLE FIGHT!!' and very literally mean it.

then, when i finally retaliate, runs away. when i catch up to her she tries to shove herself in the fridge.
i love her.


then i have the room mate who is too smart and too beautiful for her own good. she is a talented writer and my favorite person when she first wakes up.

i love talking with her cause she gets me.

she is not crazy. she is the best. don't call her crazy.

i love her.




I love fall. crunchy leaves in gutters and on the sidewalks are my favorite. i purposely try to step on them.

the other day i was walking to campus from the bean and i was doing what i do best, which is try to step on every leaf in my path. i was getting some very satisfying crunches from said leaves, so of course i was smiling to myself. who wouldn't?

but the leaves weren't that close together. or in any regular walking pattern, so i was more or less stretching and shuffling, stretching and shuffling, and smiling to myself the whole way.

then i chanced to look up.....
i've never gotten quite the look i was getting from the guy walking a few steps behind me. pretty sure he thought i was nuts.
BEST START TO A DAY EVER.
he realized what look he was giving me and quickly tried to look away. so i said, "hi. i like crunchy leaves. what's your name?"

never learned his name.