my friends and I...

We do summer right.We hang out.
And just let life slide.

We jump through hoopsAnd show our love
We walk on water
And love small children...
Cause we're creepers.
Suppa creepers.

We have great dynamics.Especially when I'm farther away...
And sometimes when I'm close too.
Mostly though, we just have fun.
Cause that's what summer is for.

rules of the rant

This is an instructional guide to the ancient form of ranting. A form passed on to me from my elder brother Ian.

People don't always realize what an art form a true rant is. A well structured, passionate rant can be as succulent as a swollen peach. Delicious and juicy to the last drop. And trust me, Ian's rants were always the best of the bunch.

How does one begin such a delicate thing as a rant? With a rhetorical question. This can be delivered in several different ways. You can begin with a simple, understated rhetorical question that will lull the listener into a false sense of security so that the rant is a sneak attack! Or the question itself can be the signal to the beginning of a beautiful rant so that the listener can properly prep themselves for the word ballet they are about to witness. There are other techniques to dropping the bomb of rhetorical beauty, and skilled ranters will often have a signature drop.

The next step to a rant, and my favorite, is the layering on of heavy sarcasm. Be generous. Make the people feel it drip from every word. Let them sink deep into the sarcasm ocean and pull them out right before they lose all breath. They will think you cynical for a moment, but only until you move to the next step.

Now here is the backbone of your rant. A rant is basically a one sided argument. So have structure and proof! You must structure your rant like a great speech. You must hit your points, and hard! Like Winston Churchill once said, "Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time- a tremendous whack!" Whack your points almost to death, but leave them barely breathing. With just enough life that your audience doesn't feel you have worked your point too hard. Don't let them feel sorry for the point. Back up everything you say. Have proof. It is the marrow in the backbone. Without it the whole rant animal falls apart.

Finally you must end in a way that puts you in a humble light. Let them know that you know what you are talking about, and that you are most definitely right. But don't let them think you think so, or that it is your idea.

A rant is a tight rope. You must walk the line between over rant and under rant. It's a purely beautiful act of skill and timing. You must know when to take the next step, and when to pause for dramatic effect.

Go forth young ones. And rant well.

just a litttle baby

Sometimes I think about how old I am. I'm just a baby. But I'm in college. And I'm supposed to be learning things. And doing things. And becoming great things. How does one do that when they still feel 12? And people I know, people younger than me, are doing and becoming such grown up things.

But I'm not a grown up.

I'm just a baby.

But I have a grown up job. I go to grown up school. I pay for things like a grown up. I live in an apartment in the fall. Just like a grown up. My body is all grown up. I'm raised, I'm done, turn the oven off and take me out.

But I am not a grown up.

I'm a baby in grown up clothes, just learning where my legs are.

Just a little baby....with grown up things to do.

recipes for...

DISASTER. I mean work...
1 loud, ominous, T-Rex approaching, constant, rumble.
3 sets of progressively increasing BANG BANG BANGS.
a pinch of clangs
a smidgen of clatters
stir in 1 chorus of Pork & Beans by Weezer
repeat every 2 FREAKING MINUTES.

and you have:
my work area in sound form
1 headache
0 joy.
1 heavy dose of sarcasm.



Relief after work disaster...
1 car ride home with mom singing Blister in the Sun at the top of my lungs
2 bright red mustang sightings
1 bottle of bubbles
several wierd looks as I proceed to blow the bubbles out the window. On State Street.
all culminating in 1 delicious Taco Amigo fresh strawberry shake (to be split with mother.)

All in all, a very good day.

maybe i'm crazy....

i think i say more messed up random things than any normal person ought to. (not that i believe in ought's and should's)

for example, these are a few things i said today;

"stop the barking! save the chickens!"

"i'm dancing with my arms. it's a form of expression."

"it sounds like a real baby is in our house."

"people shouldn't make out with other people. it's icky."

"now i have sympathy pains. my eye hurts."

yeah....

sorry...

i have a guilty music pleasure.

his name is eminem.

i'm sorry.

da BOMB

I can't even begin this post in a clever way cause I have so much I want to say on this subject.

The subject? da BOMB. My little brother Micah. He is only the coolest person I know, my best friend, and the only person I think I am 100% my crazy, hilarious (that was said with slight sarcasm and an eye twitch), self!

Micah is amazing. Honestly. Let me just tell you a few key points about him.

-Micah loves. The only people that he doesn't like or get along with are people who try too hard and aren't themselves. Everyone else is given an open-armed, non-judgemental chance.

-Micah is color blind. Not literally. I mean skin color. When he was in Kindergarten he didn't even notice that his best friend was black. If you see him with his group of friends today, you will see every shade of skin known to man.

-Micah has an awesome sense of humor. When we laugh and joke it ranges from sophisticated snipes to any sentence with the word poop in it. (haha poop)

-Micah is musical. He doesn't think he is, but Micah has the ability to appreciate and understand all genres of music. (He can also sing whether he believes it or not.)

-Micah is strong. I'm not talking his muscles-which he will show to you if you ask- I'm talking in everyway. Micah is strong enough to stand up for what he believes, stand up for others, and stand up to others. He will hold his ground. Always.

-Micah gives. He gives 100% in all he does. And he does it right. He works his but off to get where he wants to be and gives his all doing so.

I could go on forever about this kid. I love him after all. But for the sake of the rest of you, I'll stop.

He's a quiet kid (on occasion), and he doesn't like to show emotion, but he's my best friend. I know him pretty well, so take my word for it. He's da BOMB.